pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize