I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
The air taste purple.
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