So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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