i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I could fuck to npr.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
