now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
