Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
