physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
