I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Small penises have feelings too.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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