how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize