If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
