my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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