Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
why is half of my head shaved?
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