Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize