I wannas sexs uuuuu
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
