look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
