whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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