i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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