I want to make a zoo with you.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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