jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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