We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
