I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
