dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
