Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
