shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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