I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
