scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
