Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
