did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize