u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
