Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
