you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
