dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
