five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
