ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
