I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I licked your asshole in confidence.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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