she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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