I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
