dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
