its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
