it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
