well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
