i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
