im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
