OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
either way he was missing a nipple.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
