We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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