I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
