thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So much Jack, so little girl.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
