Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
