there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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