Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
