Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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