Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I cockslap morals
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
