You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
