Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
