You're so nebulous sometimes
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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