The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
