I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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