My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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