so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
