Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
