Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
