just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
