PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Someone signed my nipple.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
