i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
