Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I think my moral compass just broke
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
