i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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