No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
