I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
