So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
